Always on my mind

Somewhere on the other side of the world, Shawn celebrated his birthday this month. He moved from being a boy into being a teen and I’m not sure how it was celebrated or even if it was. I am here, he is there, and therein lies the problem. I am aching to get to him. It’s the same feeling I had when I got the first updated pictures of our daughter. She was in China and I was here. She looked stoic, no light in her eyes. I longed to get to her, to see her happy. It was an ache that stayed with me until the sweet day that I felt the weight of her fill my arms. The day I heard her precious voice and felt her heart thumping against my chest. She was with me and whatever lay ahead, we were together and that was a huge comfort. For the past 8 years, I’ve had the joy of hearing my sweet girl’s laugh fill our home. She is an absolute treasure. I’ll never forget seeing her go from a much too serious faced todder to a giggling baby with light in her eyes! She was loved, she had a full tummy and she was happy. Don’t get me wrong, our girl grieved hard in our beginning months. She would go from that happy baby to withdrawn and raging. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea about adoption and the transition that follows, but we saw what she would become, even in those first few days and it was beautiful. I cannot imagine my life without that precious girl in it, just as I cannot imagine my life without Shawn in it.

There is so much I cannot control in his adoption. It honestly keeps me up in the still of the night and then the only thing I can do is pray. Pray for his protection, pray for provision to get to him, pray for the wisdom to love him well…I just pray. I would love it if you would pray for him too. He’s just a little boy, alone in this world with no mama to hold him, no one to tell him how special and loved he is. It breaks my heart. If you feel led, please donate to his adoption grant on Reece’s Rainbow in honor of his birthday. The link to our family’s grant is at the bottom of this blog. Here it is as well:

We are working tirelessly to raise the money we’ll need to have for his adoption but honestly, we need your help to get there. We are blessed beyond measure because through you, God has provided everything we have needed when we need it. We are so thankful for each of you. We are so thankful for our awesome God and his love and care for us. I know that when He calls us, He equips us for the task. I knew going in that it would be all God who got us to our boy and it has been! We had nothing to start with and little by little we have been covered. I am in complete awe of how He works and of the fact that He chooses to use me in His plans. I am a hot mess who needs His grace minute by minute to get me through and yet, He called me. Blows me away. He is longing to have us with Him just as we are longing to have Shawn with us.
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. (‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭1-3‬ ESV)

Happy Birthday my sweet boy. Some day soon I’ll hold you in my arms, hear your sweet voice and delight over the miracle that is you. You will always be celebrated and you will always know that you are wanted and loved. You are always on my mind and always in my heart.


Coming Up For Air


It has been BUSY!!! Just when I think we are going to get to a place that will allow some much needed down time, something else comes up. Scott and I both feel like we are running at breakneck speed and have no time to actually form a thought, much less have a conversation. When we actually do get 5 minutes to talk, we are too tired to have any meaningful conversation. Along those lines, you’ll just have to forgive me and my scattered brain for the lack of flow with this blog post. The past few weeks have been filled with cars breaking down and getting them repaired, getting our home ready (painting, insulating and cleaning), moving family members, having a HUGE yard sale, sending 6 kids off to school, going to PT, going to the orthodontist, being a taxi in a car with NO AC and Scott being buried at work. He is seriously leaving the house by 6:30 and not getting home til 7 or later. He eats dinner then works til 1am and does it all over again the next day. It has been INSANE!! As if that weren’t enough, my day is now split in half with our youngest going half-day to Kindergarten. I spend 3 hours driving each day between 7:15 and 3:30. Did I mention that it’s 103* outside and I have no AC? 🙂 Although, the red face and back sweat worked for me yesterday. Ha! I had to make the trek into downtown Phoenix to get copies of birth certificates and apparently they stop printing them at 4. I walked in at 4:07. One huge sob story later and those puppies were in my hot little hands! It also helps when you have a legion of sweaty, exhausted kids in tow!

I am SO, SO HAPPY to announce that our first home study visit is scheduled for tomorrow, finally! We can officially get this ball rolling already. It is so nerve wracking to have someone come into your home to assess your parenting, your marriage, your history and your life. I know it’s absolutely necessary, but it’s nerve wracking nonetheless! The next 24 hours will be filled with deep cleaning and then protecting the clean house like a guerilla fighter from a band of kids that still refuse to pick up after themselves no matter how big they get! I’ll scramble to gather the last of the documents and compile a list of questions for our social worker because that’s how I roll. Ask me about the semester long project that I did the night before it was due in college! Got an A btw. 🙂 Pray that the home study goes well!

We also had our yard sale fundraiser. We were SO blessed by all of our friends, family and co-workers. You all donated so many wonderful items for the sale!! We worked three solid days to unload, organize and sell items and it paid off! Through you, the Lord added nearly $1700 to our adoption fund. AMAZING!!! We also have so much leftover that we will have another sale in our hometown in the next few weeks. Whatever is left after that will be donated. I’ll keep you posted on all of that in the coming weeks. I desperately need to revise our fundraising thermometer and stats, I just can’t figure out the widgets on this stinkin blog!!! I have to wait for Scott to get that done. 🙂 Thank goodness he’s a techie. I’ll post the numbers in the next few days, but I do know that I am totally amazed at how the Lord has provided for this adoption. When this was but a yearning in my heart, I couldn’t fathom how in the world we would be able to cover the expense of this adoption. Time and time again, He has provided everything we need, just when we need it. It absolutely leaves me speechless! The way that He has provided through people we know and love, as well as complete strangers, has been an added blessing and has been so very humbling to witness. THANK YOU for caring and for giving so that “Shawn” can have a family. That just blows me away. My Etsy store, Project823, has brought in just under $1000 for our adoption fund. It has gone sort of stagnant so I’ve been brainstorming other ideas to sell there, in addition to the mustard seed necklaces. We made our first tree trunk side table and sold that. I LOVED that project! Here’s a picture of it.

I’m also working on some wall art to sell. When I get a chance, I’ll finish the frame and post a picture of the one I’m working on. It’s been fun to come up with ideas and to work with my hubby to make them. He’s super talented and can build anything I dream up. He’s pretty awesome like that!

I think that’s about it for now. We’re just plugging away and trying to keep our heads above water at the moment. Please continue to pray for our boy when you think of it. I appreciate each one of you more than you’ll ever know!